i've been wanting to talk less, to conserve my energy. write more and develop consistency in my ability to reason. i want to be conscious and intentional in my actions and thoughts. get better at articulating myself. edit everything down, polish more, leave only the necessary.

i don't think i'm gonna go to the zine club thing... i'm happy as is going to my art lessons on the weekends. i only crave one social outlet at a time. if it weren't an hour detour with an expensive uber home, i would.

the weathers gotten warmer, 50s. i'm glad to be outside more again, i missed my long walks. this year i want to be outside 2 or 3 hours a day minimum, even if i have to get up early. when i walk alone, i'm reminded of how trivial my problems are. i stop thinking when i see something beautiful, i'm at peace. i guess thats why i love art so much.

speaking of drawing, it hasn't been taking up as much of my day as it used to. cause i don't feel like the time is being spent well. i'm spinning my wheels creatively, and have been for a long time. my hope is that if i replace that time reading widely, i'm nourishing myself, in other words, populating the well of ideas i can use to draw from. from history, art, philosophy. all those things i want so badly to be more learned in, but i fall short. my ideas are shallow, that's why i'm stuck.

it's fine to take a rest. in the meantime, i'll continue attending classes and refining my skill, cause i know the urge will come back. when it does, my hand will be more apt to execute my ideas.

expanding my interests has been refreshing. for this website i have intentions to publish maybe some analytical essays on works of art i love (not anything super professional, just for my own educational purposes), as well as in general things i'm learning about and am interested in. currently i've lacked the downtime but hopefully not for long.