my trip went very well! no troubles at all. after not seeing my family after more than two years i had many concerns about how things would go, but everything was pleasant.

i spent a ton of time outside, hiking, throwing balls for the dogs, hanging out round the fire. i had fun fetching kindling and feeding the fire pit. D got to use a flamethrower which was entertaining. i helped my mom cook pastito, held a baby for the first time (still prefer cats lol), went junking and talked a lot, ate a lot, drank a lot (in moderation!)

overall the experience was refreshing, and i'm excited to go again! i'm so desperate for time outside. although i like the downtime of being able to write and draw, but i get this "clogged head" feeling when i'm cooped up most of the week. coming home from vacation, i felt "de-clogged"!

as for how i felt seeing family, i kept my distance. it's necessary to sustain relationships with people who are so different. i'm very nervous regarding intimacy anyway, and i've found small talk more enjoyable as i've gotten older. not every conversation has to be some intellectual exercise, you can connect quite a bit with people through the simple things: food, weather, cute animals. maybe it relegates the relationship to a degree of superficiality, but you could also interpret it as wholesome. pick your battles.

a lot of stress came from resisting the amount of difference that exists between the views of my family and i. but the more i learn to work with the friction, instead of encourage it, the easier things are. you are going to differ in views with everyone, thats a natural fact. though it's a person's responsibility to introduce and try to convince others for what they think is right, whether you are able to change someone's mind is wholly dependent on they themselves reaching the same conclusion as you on a state of affairs. there are scenarios where the effort is possible and some where it is not. with my family, usually it's not...

i try to seek oppertunities to connect wherever we share a general opinion. to convince someone, you gotta make it so you're starting from a positive affirmation of their premises instead of your own, or in other words, operate your arguments on good faith. only then you slowly ask questions that start to challenge those premises and get them to explore wider ground. i like to think of it as planting ideological seeds. maybe they grow, maybe not, all you can do is know your soil, plant, water regularly and hope for the best.